Saturday, July 16, 2011

The joy of shared flats

It's said, that we Germans are very good in being passive-agressive. Usually I think that prejudices are just stupid and wrong... but in this case it's so right! My roommate must have won a competition in this (without my knowledge sadly, would have loved to be there). I'm sure, she has a nice trophy in her room, sparkling wildly in the light of her terrarium.

Here's the story. So my beloved roommate had been given seven big stones as a present. For said terrarium. Well, not for this one, cuz it's just as big as one of those stones, but for the big one she bought, but hasn't put together yet. So, those stone she put in front of our apartment door. A huge pile of fucking stones, in the way for everbody who wants to go up the stairs. I mean, they wouldn't be in the way for me, but the lady upstairs is quite... er... wide and loaded with bags full of groceries I can imagine she would have found it inconvenient. So, being a person who thinks about others and being a person who doesn't want trouble with the neighbours, I told her to put those stones away. In her room, the basement, whatevar.
That was two months ago.
Then I got a letter from the property management complaining about the pile and ordering to make it disappear. I was expecting such a letter, but it still made me angry. I don't want to fight with them, so why does my roommate has to bring me in such a situation?!
She's never here, when I'm here and awake. She leaves either before I'm out of bed or looong after. So we actually see each other rarely. That's why I glued said letter to her door, with a post-it of the angry kind on it. At least it was angry, as in straightforward. "Get those stones away now!"
Next day I arrive home from work and the stones are gone. Woah! Fast! But glued to my door was said letter with said post-it and a great passive-aggressive note. It told me, that I surely must have been glad to receive such a letter, cuz it must have given me all the acknowledgement I needed. It also told me matter-of-factly, that my beloved could have gone without my post-it.

Do you know this site? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/ I could have tons of those if I wouldn't always toss them after reading.

I'm used to this. I don't get livid anymore. Neither do I answer on paper, nor do I try to talk it all out with her. I tried both and it was all crushed. I'm just not as good as her in writing passive-aggressive notes. Mine always try to be nice and between the lines they seems to smile apologetically. So they were all defeated and I did never dare to send out more. I couldn't handle their cries of deadly defeat anymore. So I tried the "let's talk about this" and was bluntly told, that she's not interested in talking with me anyway. About anything. At all.

So, as always, I'll just try to forget all this and be glad about the accomplished task. The stones are gone. The property management won't drag me out of bed one cold night to beat me up with them as a punishment.

But the question remains in the back of my head. Why does all this have to happen?
I still remember some time ago, when had to wash huge amounts of laundry, because I didn't wash for some weeks. So after I had the first load done, I asked my beloved, if she's okay with me loading the mashine again or if she needs to use it. She said loud out "Yeah, it's fine." I then turned to get the stuff out of my room, just when she said under her breath "It's not like I always wash a lot. But just when I want to use it, you will instead." WTF! There I got angry and kinda yelled at her. I mean, I had just asked! If asking for her needs doesn't help, then what does?
The stories could continue endlessly. But this will be the end of it. For now. Until I have something new to report.

The good things:
First: I can blog it all out before I feel forced to sneak into her room at night and strangle her in her sleep.
Second: I still have another roommate who is much nicer and starting to be a real friend.

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