Friday, November 11, 2011

Sick Fuckers!

You know why I called this blog "on my lookout"? No, you don't. But since I'm having a nice day I'll tell you. I called it like this, because I was searching for a name like crazy (look here) and finally decided to be honest and admit that I constantly look out my window peeking at the weird people outside. Now that Halloween is over, I see again why we totally don't need it. We don't need people coming to our flat screeching stupid sayings at us (and thankfully nobody came, so we didn't need to traumatize little children by ranting at them, thank God), because we have all the creepiness in our daily life just in front of us!
Today this is going to be about my neighbours. About those neighbours just opposite my flat on the other side of the street.
I could also go into detail about the creepiness of all the other neighbours. Like the one on the second floor, who makes these strange noises at night that freak us all out. Or the young couple who bought an ugly dachshund instead of having a baby together. (This is why there are too less babies in this country: The people just buy pets instead! This world is falling to pieces, I tell you.)
But no, today this is about the weirdest neighbours of all. Why are they so weird, you might ask? Well, I'm sure, I'm absolutely SURE they fuck their dog.
It's a married couple (or at least I think they're married) and about a year ago they bought a dog. A puppy Golden Retriever. Very cute at the beginning. But it turns out the husband loves the poor thing just too much. Just today I saw the husband coming home and the dog was at the window. It always looks out the window, like a cat would. With the curtains all piled up on its head, it looks hilarious! So when the man saw his dog looking out the window, he got all exited, waving and blowing kisses at the dog. Seriously, who blows kisses at his dog?!
This window usually also shows the procedure when the husband leaves home for work. Doggie then gives him real-life french kisses which his master enjoys and he even kisses back! Thank God they don't go farther than this, at least not out in the open.
I rarely see the wife. If I see her, then she's usually walking the dog and looking a bit grim. Well, I would certainly look grim too, if my husband would give the dog more attention and love than he gives me. My hypothetical husband anyway would never do such a thing!
Is this amount of love and creepiness too much for the dog? I don't think so. It's a bit uneducated though, it jumps up everyone it meets on the streets. Dog drool, paws and dirt everywhere. But the poor thing doesn't look terrified or disturbed to me. So, instead of worrying, if I should worry more about the dog or the wife, I will just try to avert my eyes. Sick fuckers!

4 comments:

  1. so glad I don't live in an apartment block! :)

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  2. @Francesca
    Sadly, this won't change for a while.

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  3. Hilarious post. The image of the dog, with the curtains all piled up on its head, priceless, but I thought that you were then going to say, 'and then the owner came at him from behind', thank goodness you didn't. One thing though, I think it's great that folks are having dogs instead of babies. Oh yes, and the image of the man blowing all those kisses,when separate futons galore get hung off balconies, also priceless. I like your writing style. I'll be back. I just hope you don't have 'word verification' like most bloggers in Japan 'enable'. Pain in the fkcing arse.

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  4. @222
    Thank you. I lurve compliments. :-D
    But I'm not in Japan and I don't even know that "word verification". ^^

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