Sunday, September 15, 2013


So I've been busy lately pulling myself out of the hole I had fallen in. Busy like really busy. That's the only way to explain how it could happen that I remembered on Friday "Oh, I'm invited to a wedding. Tomorrow."
Well, shit. Can't ditch it, cause that's just not who I am. I'm invited, I will go. Period.
So I got myself organised, grabbed the present I already had and came up with an idea for the required small present and crafted the recipe they were collecting from everyone to make a recipe book for the couple. I can't craft shit, so I just wrote it down in Sütterlin. My hand almost fell off. I cursed so much at my absolute inability to write without mistakes. But I made it.

So, I've been to the best wedding ever.

The wedding ceremony was in a church in the neighbourhood of my parish. Actually I thought they'd chosen the church just next to our parish (our own church was to be too small), but they'd chosen one further down the street, where I hadn't been all my life. I wasn't the only one thinking like they'd chosen the neighbour's church. A woman from my parish went to the wrong church. And there was even a wedding! So she went to the altar to place the goods she's been bringing for the service and then realized that something's not quite right. So she had to leave the place again exclaiming "I'm at the wrong wedding!" Gawd, how embarrassing! I laughed so hard when she told me this. But she deserved it. Awful person that she is. Full of hatred. Bah! She asked me if I'm still in contact with <insert name here>. So it happens the groom has the same name as Certain Someone, who also had been at the party. And I thought, she can't be asking about the groom, but I asked for clarification which person she meant. Her answer? The groom of course, and she wouldn't give a shit about anything else and wouldn't want to know! Excuse me, I was just asking. And of course I'm still in contact with the groom! I've just been at his wedding, DUH!
She went on to rant about parents who drive their children to school, because they just spoil their children. Prompted the parents do it out of concern for the security of their children she ranted even more how that's bothersome. WTF! She doesn't even have children, so what does she know.
People like that just piss me off majorly.

The wedding ceremony was very nice. Very nice. The groom had his choir there to sing and... and... and since it's too much to just describe every detail I'll just say it was all very well done. Really touching. When it came to the vows the groom just peeped an "okay" which made everyone giggle. The bride's answer was a firm and strong "yes".
At the Eucharist I turned around (cuz I'm curious who's behind me, you know) and saw this beautiful girl standing there. I'd say we just clicked. Have you ever taken one look at a person and felt that you'll like this person? Well, it was just like that. I knew, I had to talk to her at the party. She felt the same, so I made a  new friend. 

I arrived at the party place early so faffed around by talking to random people. Really nice aunt of the groom and relatives of the bride who were helping out organising everything. The aunt gave me her card, I gotta write her. I then put my backpack (full of warm clothing for the way back, summer's over!) just at a some random seat while I waited for my new friend. I had bad luck right there and then: A couple from my parish came over to me and talked to me. Do you know such people who always get in your personal space while talking? Getting closer and closer? Then I pity you. These guys and especially the husband are like that. I kept taking steps back until I hit the wall (in a HUGE hall) and then I just turned around and went away. They later sat down just at my backpack. Help! My new friend arrived and I went to rescue my poor backpack from these people. Dear couple, if you're reading this: I'm just being polite about it so you haven't noticed yet, but I effing hate you, so please stay away from me.

So I was seated then at a table with awesome people. Coincidentally all Asians and some even Japanese. I don't choose my friends for their ethnic background, really. Just coincidence. We had a great time chatting, following the (short, but well done) program and later dancing. I haven't been dancing for so long. This was so good. The dance floor was full at all times. Even though we all agreed the music was kinda meh. But people were creating a wonderful atmosphere and it was fun all around. I could have danced forever, but around midnight they were getting tired and started leaving.

Overall a wonderful wedding, a great party. It pulled me out even more. 

Remember: For parties only invite awesome people and it'll be great.
Because I've been at quite some weddings by now (Can you guys stop getting married around me?! Pisses me off. Just saying.) and this was by far the best party. I've been to a wedding in a castle and the party wasn't that great. So location isn't everything. Really. The people are. I've been to weddings were the majority was refusing to dance even one time. Sucks. Also a too long program, even if it's lovingly made, kills the buzz. 
Let the people celebrate!

Monday, September 09, 2013

No fair!

I'm angry at my body.
I mean, I got a new job and therefore a lot more time after work. I like my life and could now use all this time to enjoy it. Also I got stuff to do. Friends to visit, places to be, mails to write, sewing to do.

But I feel like shit all the time. Depressed as fuck.
As usual I don't really know where this depression comes from. Could be anything (of course life's not perfect after all) and it could be nothing. I just don't know.

I know how to fight my depressions. Go out, do sports, meet people. Stay busy with things I enjoy and mean something to me.
But I somehow feel the depression slowly eating up all my energy. Energy that I need to do things.
To top all this I feel like crying all the time. Every thought that my brain pulls up is so excrutiating I could just bawl over it.

And this morning was just too much. I'm angry. I woke up feeling like shit, because I had a looong dream about my parents and my boyfriend and my friends and it was all mixed with feelings of being unwanted, resented and no-one-likes-me. It was all about these feelings.
I mean... what the fuck is this shit! My body is supposed to produce all these happyhappyhormones to help me! I'm supposed to sleep like a rock and feel rested when I wake up! But this is not right!

No fair!