Friday, October 25, 2013

Low energy

I'm wasting my life. Absolutely. How, you ask? Well, I live for work apparently. I never wanted to do that, but it seems this is what I do. And I do this without spending fuckloads of hours in the office. The key is my behaviour after work.

You see, I want to live a fulfilled life. I don't want to come home from work and plonk down in front of the TV until I zonk out. Which is why I don't have a TV. Maybe I shouldn't have a computer either. Because when I come home from work I just PLONK DOWN IN FRONT OF IT until I'm too tired and go to bed.

There you have it. I wasn't even tired before. My work does not include rolling rocks up the hill, so I'm actually not utterly exhausted when I come home. Yet I manage to not manage anything. Gawd, nowadays I feel like I've really accomplished something, when I've fixed my lunchbox for tomorrow, got myself dinner and did aaaall the dishes. Honest! I'd even think to myself: "Well done, Michelle!" Hah!
Does it get any more pathetic than this? Does it? I can't imagine.

Why am I doing this? Because I'm all out of energy. Not tired yet, but my energy level would suggest, I'm already asleep.

But there are so many things I could do! There are letters and postcards and emails to write, Swedish books to read (or to ... ehem ... fight through), sewing to do, friends to call, Japanese to study, a household to maintain, a relationship to enjoy and shitloads of other things. But... after work... I find myself unable to do anything that requires active participation. My head is empty and my body is so, so heavy.
So I fill up on blogposts and videos and whatnot. Meh. I don't even have energy to comment! How is this even possible?!

Gah! Do not want.

Today I will write all those emails and comments I put off! Really! I started off with blogging, so it can't go wrong, right? Right?



  1. Try to take a brisk jog/run after work every day. At least so you can get the little burst of energy from running. Don't feel bad, I have been quite shitty the last whole week about all the same things you have mentioned. I have letters to write back to, Discovery mags I am behind on and comments I have yet to post or even respond to.
    I am already dreading this afternoon, during my lunch we got a call that Andy needed a change of clothes at school because he is covered in mud -_-. I was going to be lazy about my run today but I think it may be wise for my sanity to take that run.

    1. Yep, I figure some exercise is the answer. I will try.
      There is never a break with Andy, is there? Maybe running will prevent you from strangling him... ;-)

      And omg, my to-do-list was sooooo long this weekend. I got almost everything done, isn't that something.

  2. oh, gosh, I never solved that problem too well! I remember going to the office when it was still dark in the morning, and leaving when it was dark already in the evening, and never seeing the sunlight - that alone would take energy out of anything and anybody! I passionately hate gyms, but living in a big city, and working office hours, that was all the workout I could manage, and for the brief time I did it, my energy level improved. another strategy is planning ahead, and have already places to go to, or specific things to do before post-work emptiness hits you.

    1. I also hate gyms! :-D
      I try going for runs, but when I come from work, it gets dark soon and sooner as winter progresses. My city isn't the safest, so I will not run by the river in the dark! No, no, not me!
      Post-work-emptiness is a very good description for a very bad thing.