I'm wasting my life. Absolutely. How, you ask? Well, I live for work apparently. I never wanted to do that, but it seems this is what I do. And I do this without spending fuckloads of hours in the office. The key is my behaviour after work.
You see, I want to live a fulfilled life. I don't want to come home from work and plonk down in front of the TV until I zonk out. Which is why I don't have a TV. Maybe I shouldn't have a computer either. Because when I come home from work I just PLONK DOWN IN FRONT OF IT until I'm too tired and go to bed.
There you have it. I wasn't even tired before. My work does not include rolling rocks up the hill, so I'm actually not utterly exhausted when I come home. Yet I manage to not manage anything. Gawd, nowadays I feel like I've really accomplished something, when I've fixed my lunchbox for tomorrow, got myself dinner and did aaaall the dishes. Honest! I'd even think to myself: "Well done, Michelle!" Hah!
Does it get any more pathetic than this? Does it? I can't imagine.
Why am I doing this? Because I'm all out of energy. Not tired yet, but my energy level would suggest, I'm already asleep.
But there are so many things I could do! There are letters and postcards and emails to write, Swedish books to read (or to ... ehem ... fight through), sewing to do, friends to call, Japanese to study, a household to maintain, a relationship to enjoy and shitloads of other things. But... after work... I find myself unable to do anything that requires active participation. My head is empty and my body is so, so heavy.
So I fill up on blogposts and videos and whatnot. Meh. I don't even have energy to comment! How is this even possible?!
Gah! Do not want.
Today I will write all those emails and comments I put off! Really! I started off with blogging, so it can't go wrong, right? Right?