Sunday, November 10, 2013

Strangest woman

A year ago I bought a used futon over the web for the Auction Winner, because he's a bit on the sensitive side and therefore can't sleep in my bed. Cause it hurts him. It bites him in the back. I love my waterbed, but it isn't for everyone. Apparently.

So I bought this nice futon. The seller, a woman, told me she'd bring it to my house for me to inspect and decide if I will really buy it. She offered this, since she was just staying at a friend's house two streets away. She came over and the Auction Winner and me debated a while. She got bored during our bantering and walked off! She wandered into our kitchen and scared my flatmates with her sheer presence. She really made herself at home, pointing out our view from the kitchen window (which is complete shit, believe me) and complimented them both on the wonderful flat they inhabit. She wasn't downright rude, but it was massively weird and juuust over the line.
I bought the futon in the end. She left.

A day later she called me to say she'd forgotten the bedsheet in which she had wrapped the futon for transport. No news to me. I asked her, if I should throw it out for her. (It looked really done to me.) She told me no, no, NO, it's a very good bedsheet and she wants it back and she'll come by sometime to pick it up.

Three months later I threw the bedsheet out. I hadn't heard from her since her last call and I wasn't going to run after her because of her stuff. Pfff.

Today. Today! Today the doorbell rang. We don't open the door to unannounced people.
But we live on the ground floor and as I got up from the carpet (I had been exercising. On the carpet. As you do.) some woman spotted me and waved frantically. She came to my window, I opened it and the following took place:
Michelle: "Yeah?"
Strangest Woman: "I came by to collect my bedsheet."
Now I remembered who that woman even was! I hadn't stored her face in my memories, but someone asking for a bedsheet could only be the futon-woman.
Michelle: "I don't have the bedsheet anymore."
Michelle: "After three months I threw it out."
I was just looking at her.
SW: "That was a fine bedsheet! In plus size! Why did you throw it out! It was worth a lot!"
I raised my eyebrows a bit and shrugged. She gave up and left.

WTF! She didn't even realize that a whole year had passed!
I cannot be expected to hold onto the stuff of strangers for God knows how long. Three months was way enough!

How do those strange people manage their lives, I wonder...


  1. That's a tad creepish! What an awkward woman. People are always trying to gift me a bed because I sleep on the floor. I can't sleep on soft surfaces for more than a week before my lower back starts to feel strain. -_- Maybe a futon would help pad my bony sides when I move at night though.

    1. So you're like my Auction Winner! :-D
      I recommend you buying a futon. It's not soft, but it's not hard either. Even I feel very comfortable and my bones hurt also, when I sleep on too hard matresses or sofas. But this futon: very good.
      I bought it used, because they are damned expensive. So I saved a lot of money and got to meet a very weird person, too. ~Bonus!~

  2. Maybe some guys DNA was on it for a claim she was gonna make.....but wasn't sure until she realized her hub was cheating and she thought she could nail him?...a big reach....but it's that or she's a loon!

    1. I like your theory, but in fact... she wasn't nearly angry enough, if that would have been it.
      So I think she's a loon and doesn't have a husband. ^^