Thursday, April 16, 2015

Creepy Easter Story

Story time!

Right before Easter I'm downtown buying Easter sweets, because I'm the kind of person who full well knows Easter is coming, but who cannot shop until the very last minute. It doesn't need to be done until it's urgent, you know? Ahem.

Anyways, I'm at some huge department store shopping the eff out the sweets section.The normal stuff is great, but I'm here for Easter and I need to FOCUS. So I'm really zooming in on the sweets, looking up and down the shelves while walking. Dangerous, this.
Suddenly someone steps in my way and I get a little shock, because was I just abut to run over this person? I'm about to say sorry, when this random person speaks and calls out my name with a huge question mark at the end.
"Err, yes?" Guilty, that's me. Who are you?
"Oh, I'm so glad to meet you. Can't believe this, this is fantastic! Do you remember me?"
Oh shit. I remember. Can't even pull my face in a way that would show equal gladness and fatastic-ness and stuff. Don't remember his name, but just about everything else. Why do I have to run into unpleasant people all the time! Why can't I meet friends from school like other people?
Dude wanted to emigrate to New Zealand, he shouldn't even be here! Why is he here! Arrrgh! So I ask. "Didn't you want to go to New Zealand? Why are you here?"
His face lights up. I remember and this makes him so glad. He tells me this huge sob-story how the emigration didn't work out, but he had been there and his best buddy from NZ died and his parents... I zoom out. I don't want to know. I randomly wonder, why he is trembling so much. Did he have a stroke? It's possible, right? He isn't really young... my mother had a stroke when young... and it's been 8 years, so it could be, right?

8 years ago I did my internship on site for becoming the cute little civil engineer that I'm now. We were building a boring house there and needed a tower crane for lifting the materials. The crane was delivered in parts to the site and a day later some dude showed up and assembled it. Connected all the wires, crawled around in the horizontal jib (while it was still just a metre off the ground) and tested the whole thing. The testing was exciting to say the least, because nobody had planned for the horizontal jib to have to be able to turn all the way and on the other side was a church tower. We missed it, but only barely. I had been watching the dude work all the time and thought he did a great job and I told him so. We started talking how you get into this line of work and if it's fun and stuff. He told me his dream: he wanted to emigrate to New Zealand. I said what a wonderful dream, why don't you do it? He had doubts, but even said he could get a job there, even has friends, who are like family... I supported the emigration. Just do it, I said. He asked me, if I'm interested in New Zealand and I said sure. I mean why ever the hell not? So we exchanged numbers and arranged a meeting. He wanted to show me pictures of his travels and talk about New Zealand and emigration.
We met, we talked, it was a nice meeting. It seemed to me he just had to set some formal things straight and then he could leave right away. I supported this decision. If you have a dream, follow it!
He drove me home, I said bye and was about to get out of the car when he asked me for a kiss. I got a shock, choked out a "NO" and bolted.
Inside my room, I recovered and after consulting with friends (absolutely panicked) I sent him a text which told him that I didn't want things this way and to never, ever contact me again. I was so creeped out! He was so much older than me, we're colleagues... I felt, he had abused my trust. And I knew, we couldn't be friends like this, so it was better to just break off all contact.

(Disclaimer: Dating isn't really a thing here, so I didn't smell this coming. Maybe my readers from countries where dating is a thing knew this was gonna happen all along.
I sure didn't. I was young and stoopid. Now I know better. Never be nice to men. They misunderstand.)

His talking grows more pressing, I zoom in again. He doesn't tremble as much anymore. No stroke?
"I'm so glad I met you here. You won't believe it, but even went to church to pray I could meet you again. All this time I was so in love with you and always hoped to see you again. Can we meet up later? Can I have you number? I was hoping all the time to meet you again."

He talks in circles and all this is never going to end well. So I interrupt and tell him, I won't meet him. He talks about his prayers again. I tell him God doesn't grant all wishes and that I'm sorry. I walk away, am totally scared I will be followed, pay my sweets and bolt.

This was so creepy!

I mean, I get it. It's sooo romantic he was waiting for me all those years and is so happy to see me.
But I wasn't happy. Absolutely not.

And btw: What did he do 8 years long? The world is populated! Why wait for me as if I'm something special?! I'm not! I'm a horrible person and he doesn't know that because he met me all of two times. 8 years ago! He could have met some wonderful woman during these 8 years and marry and have kids, even. Instead he chose to obsess over me and mold me into this person, who is just perfect for him. I am not this person. I don't want to be obsessed over. I don't want to be jumped in the sweets section by some guy who made unwanted advances and who I told to piss off. 8 years ago.

My. Goodness.


  1. oh, please tell him where I go shopping! i'd love to meet someone who told me that he'd been loving me for a loong time!! never mind it that i wouldn't believe it - i would just take with me the romance, and leave all the rest (odd dude included). :)

    1. :-D Now that's a nice way to see it!

  2. O____________o Also das finde ich ja auch wahsninnig creepy. Einigen Männern muss man wohl erst ins Gesicht brüllen, dass man nicht mehr von ihnen will, bevor sie es verstehen ...

    1. What? Stuff like this doesn't happen to you? ;-)
      I think it's okay he misunderstood my intentions in the beginning. But holding on to this for 8 years... this is very creepy. And unhealthy. It actually shows me not how romantic (or whatnot) he is, but how unstable and probably even crazy.

    2. 8 years is way over the top O_o I didn't have the 8 years, but a dude from my japanese exchange university kept stalking me for 2 years until I changed my mobile phone number. I am quite sure he would still keep on calling and texting me, if I hadn't changed my number ...

    3. Stalking for 2 years is pretty heavy and creepy! I was stalked by an ex-boyfriend for some very long weeks and it was horrible. I'm sure you're glad it's over. :-)

  3. Ya know... when someone says they aren't interested; it means they aren't interested: move on. It's obsessive, not romantic what he did.

    So since there is no dating, how to people meet or begin a romantic relationship? In my instance Joey and I didn't really date. We met while visiting a mutual friend and then pretty much started hanging out together A LOT after that initial meeting. But I don't know if that is called dating. I don't really think I know what an actual date for the purposes of courting really is.

    I hope you don't have to see that guy again.

    1. I also hope to never see him again as I've hoped before. ^^

      I think the dating is just skipped and hanging out starts right away? I admit it's very complicated. But the American approach doesn't work. I've been asked out by Americans and to me it was always impolite and intruding. A guy who I just met asking me to meet him for a coffee? Man, I really have to like him to find that nice! It's just so insolent to a German woman. :-D Cultural differences are complicated.